Friday, December 3, 2010

Resisting the Descent into Winter

I have found myself at war with the season.  The fall colors here in Virginia were absolutely amazing this year and yet I found myself feeling melancholy about it.  Now that the color is gone and the temperatures are dropping to the 30's and lower at night I am downright resistant.  Winter is always a hard season for me. I don't like being cold and I just love the long, warm days and nights of summer.

Winter is also a time of slowing down, hibernation, looking within.  Yet as a culture we seem to get busier and busier.  We pack the days and nights.  Why is it that we resist so strongly the call to slow down, to hibernate?

I know that in part there is something that is calling me to slow down, to look within and yet I am resiting.  As a spiritual practice I use Tarot Cards this year is my hermit year. A year to journey within, to explore my inner self and seek solitude.  Yet I have been busier than ever, immersing myself in my outer life.

Parker Palmer in his book A Hidden Wholeness, describes winter as a time "to name whatever feels dead in us, to wonder whether it might in fact be dormant--and to ask how we can help it, and ourselves, 'winter through.'" (Palmer, 82)  

I/we run so far from the inner life, running from what I/we might find within.  Yet the soul it does not stop calling and I/we know that.  I know that i can choose to stop and listen or at some point the soul will just make me stop.  Can I learn to stop resisting, to stop fighting? Can I learn to face my fears of looking within> 

Could one day I learn to love the winter?